thirstology | TEST DRIVE MEME #5

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test drive meme

TEST DRIVE MEME #5

test drive 5.0

The world has shifted. Or maybe you’ve shifted? Either way, things have changed, and it’s going to be quite a while before you see them change back again.

BASICS

You were going about your business as usual until the world went white around you, and when the fog cleared: Oska. You've arrived in a snag of reality between worlds, the full extent of which can be read about here. But in essence, you’ve arrived in a grand, magical, almost empty castle. Outside the castle is an empty, long-abandoned village, partially in ruin. Past that, the world simply fades out into white mist. Your best bet is probably to stick to the castle and its grounds.

Suits of armor patrol the quiet hallways, but good luck getting them to speak or answer any questions. There’s absolutely nothing inside them, they move under their own power. They don’t talk, but they also go out of their way not to hurt you. You can even attack one, it will just patiently wait for you to give up and leave. If, however, you ask one for directions, it will dutifully turn and lead the way to wherever you’ve requested.

Librarians lurk in the halls of the enormous, well-stocked library, in which you can find nearly any book from nearly any world. The librarians are tall, wide, and very muscular, but they’re also not out to hurt you. Provided you play nice, of course. The usual rules apply: be respectful of the books, keep your voice lowered, and never bring any source of flame into the library. That last one might make the librarians reconsider their nonviolent natures.

Outside, there's a greenhouse with every type of flora you can imagine (and more, since they're from all over the universe) — be careful, though, because not all of them are friendly. If you'd like to take a dip, you can check out the lake; just be friendly to the fish. You can catch sight of almost any animal you'd like in the stables, real-world or fantasy. Most of them have been tamed, and won't do any real harm. However, some of them can be a bit testy. Stay away from the unicorns unless you have perfect manners — they hate impoliteness.

Current characters in game can assume that the Timeline glitched and sent them temporarily back to Oska. You are welcome to take any threads that happen here as game canon, should both parties arrive in game. Threads done here by prospective players may be used as application samples, and threads done by current players may be used as Bonus AC.

PROMPTS

ONE ✗ THE KITCHEN
The kitchen is always stocked with food, freshly cooked and ready to be eaten — although there was no one to do the cooking, and it might just be you to do the eating. That doesn’t seem to discourage the kitchen in the slightest, which is constantly churning out new, fresh courses. Some of them are more innocent than others today.

That tart you just ate? It was harpfruit, native to Cendiares, and has a pesky side effect of making the eater blurt out everything that pops into their head. The completely average-looking salad actually has flakes of Raphian wildflowers, which cause a bit of dancing fever — it isn't contagious, but it does make the sufferer want to dance with everyone they can. The choices and effects are endless and up to you, and don't worry; ALASTAIR is working on getting the kitchen under control as we speak.

TWO ✗ THE TRAINING CENTER
Maybe you find your way into the Training Center. A lot of work went into setting this room up, and it can construct nearly any scenario that you can imagine. All it takes to activate this room, still and featureless until it comes to life, is the brush of a finger against one of the glowing pads on the wall. The magitek will take it from there.

Just envision the setting and any enemies you’d like to train against, and they’ll instantly materialize. Would you rather go sightseeing, without worrying about a fight? No problem! The room is eager to provide you with a sparring partner, but it can be convinced to hold off -- just don’t think of getting into any fights. The Training Center also offers any games you can think of: soccer, basketball, literal freeze tag, etc. Every supply you need will be simulated for you.

Additionally, the following scenarios are also preloaded into the system for user convenience, each coming with a small summary of mission objectives:

ANWICK: A ruined little village with a massive, dead dragon skewered in the center of it. The goal is to protect her young in a nearby cave. The terrain is treacherous, the wyrmlings are squirmy and unhelpful, and the townsfolk are furious. But for good reason -- it seems dragons have been plaguing them for decades. Even the simulation’s enemies are programmed to say as much, and will do their best to convince you to their side.

CHANTES: Chantes, Audentes' first mission, is a typical medieval town cloaked in darkness and surrounded by a winding forest. It comes in two default flavors and difficulty settings. Fairies are the easier enemy; the objective is to collect three jars of unpleasant, glowing sap from their nests without getting your eyes poked out. The fairy goop can also cause disturbances with magical powers, unwanted levitation, and unfortunate cosmetic effects.

Demons are the more difficult setting. The task is to clear ominous runes off of various town structures, but when approached, each one releases a red, misty spirit. It will fight tooth and nail to protect its ‘home,’ but is largely invulnerable short of destroying its rune. To prevent this, it may resort to spells, violence, and possessing someone else in the simulation -- consider this a lesson in PvP. (NOTE: You’re also welcome to use anything from the previous events from Chantes as well.)

OSKA TRAINING: The goal in this simulation is simple: outlast the timer. It’s exactly the same castle, but after it’s been pelted by a firestorm, architecture ruined to rubble and ash. Navigating the half-destroyed castle is hard enough, and the earthquakes and fireballs raining from the sky will continue until characters survive for a certain amount of time (from an hour to a day) or find a full bushel’s worth of food. And just to rub salt in the wound, all the dirt, grime, and mud in this simulation will last outside of it, so you might need a shower after.

NALAWI: An island nation populated by diminutive deer people. The first setting is a mini version of the Gilligan's Island event -- it's less action-packed and more focused on survival. Marooned on the drowned island of Dakal, it's up to you to figure out where to find food and shelter. You might also want to avoid the hungry sea creatures that have made their way up on the island, too.

The second setting involves lava monsters erupting out of Nalalona, the largest volcano on the Nalawi islands. Lava imps will do their best to hypnotize recruits into following them back into the volcano, and can be defeated the normal way or non-violently lured into the water. Next comes the fire golems, hulking but fast. Their weak spot is their glowing core, but it will require some cleverness to reach. (NOTE: You're welcome to use any scenarios based on other Nalawi events as well!)

ZETA-12: Oh boy, a whole planet to explore! The objective here is simple: protect your delicate goo baby at all costs. Luckily for you, the simulation has seen fit to skip over the frozen wastes! Your first challenge is crossing the deep forest: carnivorous plants try to get a bite out of you, but that isn't the worst part. Eventually, you come to a deep chasm, and have to choose between forcing your wailing, distressed squidge across, or soothing it for several hours until it's willing to go with you.

Scenario two is a thick bog inhabited by an aggressive plant monster. It spits a crippling neurotoxin, so anyone attempting to fight it should be wary. Outsmarting or avoiding it would be best for the squidges' well-being, but some people are too hot-blooded for that. What will you do?

Finally, there's the desert; it's picturesque, but only if you can ignore the dehydration and punishing heat. There's a cave network for you to seek shelter in, but make no mistake: pretty soon a freak meteor shower causes a cave-in and leaves you trapped inside with an increasingly aggressive squidge. Are you out there dodging meteors or navigating caverns?

THREE ✗ HOT SPRINGS EPISODE
One of ALASTAIR's teams extracted an enormous, very hot core from a sentient and murderous AI. What better way to put it to use than to heat up the springs? It's a nice place to get some much needed R&R or just hang out. Some enterprising recruits have built wooden decks and stairs around and through the whole affair. It's a little bit of a hike to get there from the castle, but anyone who has visited can agree: it's worth it.

FOUR ✗ THE NETWORK
There is some good news, along with all these bizarre and fantastical new sights: you’ve arrived with a new piece of jewelry which, if examined, gives you access to anyone else that might be currently inhabiting Oska. You can speak into the jewelry and be heard, you can get it to project moving images of yourself and others, you can even think a message into it and have it arrive as written word to whoever you’re communicating with. It’s a useful little trinket, provided you can get it to work.

FIVE ✗ CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE
You are free to use any of these settings, or anything from the Settings Page. You may use any virtually created setting you can think of in the Training Center, even scenes from your character’s world (although they’ll be devoid of people, unless they’re brought in as opponents).

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

1. nice castle you got here, shame if something were to--

[ A shrill scream rings out like the cry of the most faint hearted damsel in distress, and the phrase isn't far from the truth as Naruto presses himself bodily against the opposite wall; physically shaking, wide blue eyes fixed dead and unmoving on the suit of armor he'd just been investigating. Naruto's world is pretty out of date as far as technology and development goes and magic just isn't a thing that people believe in -- aside from chakra but that's a totally different thing -- but one thing they do have in plentiful amounts are ghost stories, and when Naruto clambered up onto the back of the suit of armor to get a peek at the guy inside who had been rudely ignoring his calls, he'd got the fright of his life.

Naruto, it seems, does not do well with ghosts, which is what he's absolutely certain this is. What else could it be? ]

S-Stay back! [ You can't punch a ghost, kid, what are you going to do? Shadow clones can't help you now. ] I mean it, y'know! [ His knees are shaking. Someone help this poor idiot out. ]

2. beats eating worms

[ Naruto has eaten some pretty weird things in his time - don't ever let frogs cook for you is all he's gonna say - but as far as Harpfruit goes, Naruto doesn't feel like it's such a raw deal. He has practically no brain-to-mouth filter as it is so the lessened tongue doesn't feel like that much of a problem... So much so, in fact, that he starts to pick and sniff at the other plates giving honest (and rude and vulgar in some cases) opinions on the look or scents of the particular meals as though he's critiquing them while looking for something in particular... something that will sate a craving that he seems to be mumbling about under his breath, only audible when someone might stand next to him to hear a soft little-- ] Gotta be here somewhere....

3. aches and pains

[ Now, a hot spring is definitely something he can get behind. It might not be the secluded zen spring with cold stones and a cool wind through the low hanging trees that he's familiar with, but there's definitely been some effort to make it tranquil and as he eases into the water it successfully unwinds all the tension in his frame like a coil. Anyone who knew him would think it entirely strange for him to be tense, but everyone here is a stranger and the knowledge is weighing pretty heavy on his shoulders. Thoughts of his own world and what he's left behind are swarming in his head, and as he sinks his mouth and nose under the water looking something like a big pink toad, he zones out to the thoughts until the sound of someone entering the baths brings him out of his reverie and he almost chokes on the water he accidentally sucks up through his nose. ]

Wh-plthth-- [ He splutters attractively, and wheezes as he coughs up a great glob of water that lands just as attractively back in the hot water they're both bathing in. Nice. ] .... Uhhh... [ He laughs, and puts a hand behind his head to awkwardly ruffle his hair. ] Sorry about that.

4. network-

[ He's been chewing this over for some time and only after the first few hours of feeling helpless does the idea of reaching out to the locals strike him, and following a small fight to get the technology to cooperate with his entirely unfamiliar handling, he's opened up some kind of audio conversation to the feed at large. ]

Uh, hello? [ His voice is loud and kind of throaty, heavily accented Japanese with that ever present verbal tick that puts him right in his place. He moves on before anyone can answer him, not even certain if anyone can answer him at this point. ]

Hey, uh... How long have you guys been here? And.. Do people come here a lot? Like lots of people? Different kinds of people?

[ He waits a moment after speaking, blinks at the crystal around his neck, then gives it a little shake as if telling it that he's finished talking. ]

[Narsus rushed down the hall, certain that someone was being killed -- and in truth, he could not yet say for sure that this was not in the near future for Naruto. At first, he assumed that the armor held a man, but as he came closer -- ]

What?!

[Surely some sort of sorcery was afoot, though he saw no magician commanding the armor to move. Nonetheless, he had his hand on the hilt of his sword as he called out to the armor from behind.]

You, in the armor! Step away from the boy!

[The armor turned its head, staring at him from behind its empty visor. Creepily, its body continued to face Naruto.]

Er...

[ Naruto doesn't waste a damn second on being affronted at being called a boy, because when the things scary empty helmet does a near 180 on it's shoulders... all of Naruto's bravery runs in the opposite direction, and the boy isn't far behind. He scoots away from the suit of armor and stands behind the unwitting stranger. ]

Oi, be careful, y'know! I heard this story once where-- where this guy tried to fight off the ghost of some dead soldier.. and it didn't go so well for him. Just 'cos ghosts ain't got no real arms, doesn't mean they can't pick up their swords and stuff... [ Naruto is primed to pounce, hands spread like he's itching to form a hand-sign, but his knees are shaking so much that he probably wont get very far if he tries. ] He could be like... like a metal puppet or somethin'... [ He's trying his best to make sense of this in the only way he can. He's seen puppets led by chakra strings before, so it's possible... right? Anything but ghosts is fine with him. ]

[Well, this was an unexpected development. Narsus just wasn't used to dealing with children... teenagers... whatever.]

[He moved one arm at the empty suit helmet as if to gesture to it, and instead flicked a small rock at it. The stone bounced off the back of the armor with a hollow sound. No one hiding inside, then, and playing at being a ghost.]

A puppet? I don't think so -- I see no strings. Which means sorcery.

[Although generally speaking, didn't evil spirits try to murder you or drive you mad...? Despite his seeming bravery, however, Narsus couldn't help jumping a bit as the armor turned swiftly around, wrenching its head back to the correct direction with both mailed hands. Watching. Okay, that actually was kind of spooky.]

W...what reason have you for menacing the people here?

[The armor did not speak, but took a rattling step forward. Was that his imagination, or was that the hint of a ghostly sigh emanating from the depths of its empty helm...?]

Ya don't always see the strings, y'know. [ He mumbles, almost defensively, like he's fallen prey to said strings before. ] Chakra strings are real thin, an' ya only see 'em when they shine in the light... It's kinda dark in here, too..

[ Dark enough that Naruto isn't exactly certain where this guy got that little rock from. The carpeted floors are pretty immaculate so he cant have found it on the ground, and Naruto didn't see him form any hand-signs or anything like it to acquire a rock so easily. Did he have a pocket full of them or something?

Naruto is focusing so intently on the little insignificant detail that he totally misses the fact that the armor suit has turned to face them both, so when his eyes glance back to the figure only to see it staring and closer than before he squeaks and tugs at the strangers sleeve. ]

I was yellin' at it before, tryin' to get some answers but it was ignorin' me so I got mad! It's probably angry at me for kickin' it, y'know! We should go! [ Bad guys he can handle. Ghosts..... not so much. ]

Chakra?

[That got Naruto a brief glance. Maybe he was a Westerner? Though he looked more like a Lusitanian...]

You... kicked it...?

[Of course he did. Why not. Nevertheless, Narsus was determined to shed at least a little light on their strange (ghostly?) and menacing acquaintance.]

Are you a djinn? Do you serve the master of this castle? If so, tell him this: It is an inconsiderate host who leaves his guests to wander without so much as a brief repast!

[aka he was hungry, goddammit. After another brief pause, the armor pointed -- down the hall, where a light was flickering in the distance. Yet still no words came.]

Eh? Down there?

[ Naruto peers around his new companion, squinting down the corridor as he tries to figure out what the armor's response is. He doesn't really know what the stranger said to it - what a djinn is or what a repast might be - and he might not be able to tell what the armor is pointing at, but as he gives it another cursory glance, something strikes him. ]

Maybe he wasn't ignorin' me... Maybe he just can't talk. Cos if he's a ghost, or a puppet, or somethin' like that... Then he won't have a mouth and everything that makes it so people can talk, huh? [ He looks back to his companion like a puppy that's done a trick and expects a treat. ] But he can hear us, cos he only pointed when you said that to him, so... What did ya ask him, about the master of this place? Maybe he's pointin' us to wherever that guy is?

Wait. Weren't you just frightened out of your wits?

[He supposed children were quick to bounce back from the unexpected.]

Well, no matter. Why don't we accept his invitation? It's more direction that I've gotten from anyone else here.

[At this the armor slowly dropped his hand and, turning his back on them, began to shuffle down the corridor. Narsus spared a moment to watch before heading in the direction of the flickering light.]

My. It's just as in those old faerie-tales. If every man had the help of enchanted servants, surely there would be no need for gholams.

Ain't much to be frightened of if he's just a guy tryin' to get by.

[ Unless he is a spooky ghost leading them to their death.. and just in case Naruto gives him a wide berth. Just to be sure. ]

But hey, fancy hair, ya didn't tell me what ya asked him. You talk funny, y'know, and I don't get why he's pointin' down there, what's he pointin' at? Did you ask him where the guy who owns this castle is? Or did ya ask him for a bathroom, or what?[ He asks even as he starts to step carefully toward the direction the strange being had pointed. ]

Ya know, instead of havin' servants why don't people just do stuff for themselves, huh? S'not that hard if servants can do it. [ He mumbles practically to himself before he pauses like he's just remembered something, and turns to look at his companion. ] What's a gh-... a gola-... What's one of those things you just said?

[...he definitely knows that voice. For a moment, Sai is almost tempted to answer this post in disguise, somehow, see if Naruto figures it out, but--his network identifier is right there, after all. "Sai" isn't hard to mistake.

So instead:]

Lots of different kinds of people, yes.

Though it's not uncommon to find a familiar face among them.

[hi.]

Ah, okay, 'cos see I'm lookin' for a--

[ Waaaaaaaait a second. Naruto might not be the sharpest kunai in the toolset but, like a dog, if he hears a voice often enough he'll start to implement the memory in his mind, and Sai's voice is one he's heard a large amount over the past few months. He's immediately so certain of Sai's identity that he sidesteps the impossibility of it all and barrel rolls headlong into a loud excited shout of Sai's name. ]

Sai! Hey, that's really you in there, huh? [ He's still shaking the crystal like Sai is actually in the thing, and has apparently not quite got a hold of the inner workings of technology here just yet. Baby steps. ] Are ya okay, y'know? I don't even remember the last time I saw ya, but I'm glad you were outside of the village before everything turned ugly!

[He's about to make some manner of comment about how no, he's not in the jewelry, how would that even make sense, Naruto. But he's, uh, distracted by that last comment.]

...What?

[But--hadn't ALISTAIR said something about returning back to the point where he'd fallen through the rift, when they had the energy? Had they been lying?

But no, that doesn't make sense, either. If he had been missing, Naruto wouldn't react like it was normal for him not to be in the village at that time. Something fishy is going on here.]

The last I saw of you, we were having lunch with Asuma-san and his team after returning from Tenchi Bridge. What has happened, since then?

[And why doesn't he remember it...]

Tenchi Bridge? [ Naruto stops shaking the crystal and instead looks up at his surroundings like they might explain what's going on here. Needless to say, they don't, and Naruto screws up his face in obvious confusion. ] But that was ages ago. Ages and ages ago. Ya don't remember anything since then?

[ He pauses for a moment. Sai is pretty blunt at the best of times, but Naruto can't help but wonder if he'd mention Asuma so casually if he knew. Just hearing his name has both visibly and audibly sobered Naruto. ]

Um.. How long have you been here?

I do not.

[But obviously Naruto does; his response only confirms it, though he doesn't quite make the connection to what he said about Asuma.]

I first arrived in Oska two weeks prior, but it sounds as if it has been much longer for you. I could not say why, but...it might be related to the rifts in universes that lead us here. Akin to some manner of...time-space ninjutsu, perhaps?

[ Sai, buddy, this guy has only just got his head around sage chakra and he had to do so using an ice cream metaphor... Just the words 'time-space ninjutsu' make his head hurt. ]

Maybe, I guess.. So you're not the Sai from the same time that I'm from.. but you are still Sai, just.. younger?

[ He's trying, bless him. ]

I suppose so, yes.

[Don't go getting all metaphysical on him here, he's still wrapping his brain around having an identity in the first place.]

What did you mean, when you said "everything turned ugly"?

[How much trouble is Konoha in, how impatient should he be about getting tf outta here.]

[ Naruto squints in response to that. Look, okay, he's read a fair amount of cartoon strips and overheard enough lazy bar stories to know that you shouldn't mess with the flow of the future because Fate is a fussy lady and will mess with you if you mess up her plans... or something. ]

Uuuh, I dunno. [ It's impressive that he's holding back, honestly. He's typically the poster child for acting without thinking. ] Are ya sure it's a good idea me tellin' you everything that's happened? What if I tell you too much an' then you don't show up when I need ya, or something, y'know?

uzumaki naruto | naruto

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sorry this is so late, life ate me. ;_;

4!

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HI AGAIN BB it batty; network; un: shitpost king

kagari no

*kagari yes

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