thirstology | RELATIONSHIP TABLE MEME

first...........???
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NAME	PROS	CONS
Achilles	Nothing	EVERYTHING
Aradia	Actually friendly Totally cool with the seeing a dead guy thing Kind of weird in a good way	Probably like 12 Also an alien Kind of weird in a bad way
Fiona	Not a total troll appearance-wise Fun to bitch at Protection with her pistol and human shield capabilities Actually used the term "friend" in public that one time	Pandoran So much back-sass Thief Dead guy in head thinks she's hot, that's weird
Keats	???	Rude as balls
Keith	Not from the Dark Ages	Doesn't get jokes Probably like 12 Kinda rude!!!
Laedo	???	A fucking dragon A really annoying dragon
McCree	Cool arm	Cowboy??
Nami	Pretty hot NGL Kind of mean Sweet-ass technology Probably competent enough to keep me alive	Thief Kind of mean Owe her, because she's greedy AF Doesn't know sharing is caring
Peter	Actually nice That's basically it, that already puts him leagues above everyone else	Probably like 12 Likes the muppets
Rey	Handy	Probably like 12
Shiro	Cool arm	Too much psychoanalyzing
Sigma	Cool arms Laughed at peanut butter cup joke Fuckboys gotta stick together	Kind of a douche
Stiles	Nerd	Nerd Probably like 12
Tony	Powerful Successful Rich Has his own corporation!!!	Ring on that finger :((((

can't believe we still have cowboy prejudice in the year of our lord two thousand and sixteen

Let those question marks lift your soul, little grouchy human~

(Also because notifs are down I tossed you an endcap to our inbox silliness!)

like back-sass is a problem 🙄

#notallcowboys

(((unsure)))

also i got it, tyvm ccc:

NAME	PROS	CONS
Achilles	Would never have to carry the conversation myself Who needs to get buff when your boyfriend can bend a steel bar with his bare hands? Useful sleep aid	Almost certainly tops Would probably accidentally break me in half Would never be allowed to carry a conversation myself Unsure if can perform basic math?
Fiona	Survivalist?	Almost certainly does not adhere to the five-second rule
Haise	Likes cats Thoughtful conversation Excellent fighter and patient combat teacher Basically a total sweetheart?	???? He's got a secret I haven't managed to work out yet
Keith	Another very handy defender	Probably have to bribe my way back into his good graces
Kida	Tough, capable and flexible Fierce sense of teamwork, looks out for her allies Totally cool catshark Probably a good big spoon All-around an excellent person	Technically none But she's more like a sister
King	Magic?? I guess?? Level-headed and probably discusses everything before doing it	Looks SO YOUNG no thank u
Kojuro	Good musician Probably always does the dishes on time	Captain of the Dad Squad
Laedo	Very fascinating magical powers Another team player: you know he's got your back Excellent singing voice?? (note to self: bard team Laedo + Kojuro?) So pretty......	A little serious even for me Probably wants to put a ring on whoever he kisses Is a dragon???
Loki	A god Literally is a god Argues semantics for fun	Literally a god Argues semantics for fun and probably cheats
Meallan	Friendly, gregarious and rather a sweetheart Seems to have that uncanny ability to guess what's on your mind Fascinating cultural exchange Weirdly attractive	Have to watch it with the hand-based puns Extroverts are exhausting
Papyrus	Earnest and kind	Is a SKELETON?? Acts about twelve
Rhys	???	Easy puker Probably steals your leftovers from the fridge
Ramir	Wins fights with trees, weather phenomena, etc Probably delights in playing big tough defender Generous and honest Almost kissed me once	Picks fights with trees, weather phenomena, etc Unexpectedly monogamous
Rey	Can build robots! Earnest and enthusiastic	Never actually met her face-to-face
Riza	Thoughtful, sober-minded, pro-science Hard worker, willing to ask for help Very pretty Probably always remembers anniversaries	Would feel like a total baby if we dated She's like almost thirty right?
Serene	Another tough lady defender Probably not the sort to let problems fester Fun conversation when she's in a good mood Definitely likes being the big spoon Gorgeous Interested??	Lightly terrifying when not in a good mood Possibly interested for slightly weird reasons
Shizuo	Never have to wonder what drink to get at the bar	Mostly still a total mystery
Sieglinde	UH	SHE'S TWELVE
Sigma	Straightforward, good-humored More thoughtful than he looks Cat puns	Kind of a bro The target of said unexpected monogamy

NAME	PROS	CONS
Achilles	Pure muscle Great Abs(s) Eloquent af Extremely polite and respectful Willing to humour cultural differences	Perfect specimen of humanity Probably not a great mistress Probably too proud to be a dirty secret Might upstage my sick poetry
'Alayne'	Polite and fair Reminds me of Fara Great for long distance chats??	Young Human Let's be real I know nothing about her but would probably break her heart~
Aradia	She booped my nose when I was feeling bad Not human!!!!	Too young Smiles so hard her face broke around the cheeks Deathly grey skin
Archer	Well spoken	He hurt my fee fees
Ban	Weirdly considerate Great father Secret powers of youth?? Good company when sober Willing to fight dirty against the same foe	Never sober Lowbrow upbringing, weird dialect Rude, so rude Not entirely trustworthy Constantly grating against my velveteen ego
Evan	Thoughtful Well-read Red-haired Very clever Culturally tolerant (read: strokes my ego)	Bit of a crybaby Human Weak as a wet paper bag filled with squalling kittens
Genji	Oh so polite Nice analogies Pleases my ego by paying attention to me~ Somehow overcame his humanity with weird metal pieces--fascinating	Still part human Not met in person, may also secretly be half-scrap heap
Giovanni	Easy to taunt when he's at his lowest	Laughter meant specifically to deafen me Cruel Broken Dangles ominous threats over my head, like, literally right over it from time to time Poor parental figure Strange choice in eyewear No personal bubble I promised him a favour when I didn't know any better, and I can't go back on my word though perhaps just crushing him might be the better bet.....
Haise	Literally everything, what a perfect pet	Still human(?) Something seems a little off about him...
Hijikata	Probably nothing	He needs to touch non-poisonous grass and find some chill >:(
Kojuro	What a fine soldier Musical Dads Inc. Fun to fight with Has such chill Probably definitely not a teenager like the rest of these damned kids??	Alas, human Somewhat reserved Refrains from stroking my ego
Koltira	Not human!	Not alive, either Insufferable Have avoided at all costs because my ~~fee fees~~ Moral imperitives were also imperiled
Laedo	Beautiful Strong Talented Magical Supportive Correct breeding (and pedigree) Innovative Perfect in every way	Probably too perfect, others get jealous
Meallan	Not human! Red haired Friendly Flirtatious Probably wouldn't mind being kept for private occasions Wowed by my natural talents Willing to allow me to show off in a meaningful way	Dangerous zap-magics Facial markings odd, though don't tell him I mentioned it A bit dreamy
McCree	Very polite Excellent manliness Charming	Better viewed from afar Not fooled by the arm, still human
Olivia	Charming! She gives me cute rage I could literally pick her up and squeeze her little pink-haired head off CUTE?!	Might not be human, not sure if pink hair indicative of secret non-human bonus points So shy I feel pity for her Taste in men too perfect
Papyrus	Wonderfully oblivious Not sure if pro in this case, but not human	No flesh and blood Not sure if obliviousness is a front for a double-trolling
Ramir	Productive and useful Knows her way around town apparently Nice taste in metallic adornments	Super-Human, which I'm not sure if it's twice the human but that is too much human A little abrupt
Rhys	Good for a trolling	Undeniably petty Human Ignorant fool
Serene	Also productive Prompt Strokes my ego like she wants to set it on fire Fine sense of fashion and hair Could do well with more bangles Has a tart edge	Humen, which I'm quite certain is the same thing as a human Militantly vegan Militantly matronizing Poor parenting skills Poor life choices
Sieglinde	Extremely clever Logical, thorough Culturally aware, which is good to see in a child. She'll grow up well versed in so many things	Literally a child Also human, I think Makes reckless choices A little too precocious for her age, which is terrifying given I know many of my teammates are awful creatures. >:C

Edited 2016-08-06 18:18 (UTC)

NAME	PROS	CONS
Achilles	Pecs	Douche Get a haircut
Evan	Nice A cute kind of nerd	Literally a child
McCree	Accent Nice taste in hats Rugged yes please Nice taste in guns	Accent I literally don't even know your first name
Rhys	Cheekbones Friend Funny, possibly by accident	Corporate scumbag Friend Annoying Do you have a thing for my sister, or
Selene	Actually interested in Pandora	Kind of rude??
Stiles	Appreciates wrecking Rhys Also funny Thinks I'm cool	Literally a child

Listen, he'll put a ring on you even if you're not kissing him. >:C The FASHION in this place is aBYSmal~

Already way ahead of you re: Kojuro, child~